We have been going through all of our stuff and getting rid of as much as possible in anticipation of our move. I really thought I had thoroughly decluttered before the fire, but it’s funny how many things I am ready to get rid of now that I have lived out of boxes for two months and am facing moving again.
I even went through my little keepsake box with old concert ticket stubs, baseball cards, wedding invitations … Things that I thought were meaningful, but after the last 2 months, that stuff really doesn’t mean anything to me. They weren’t bringing anything positive into my life anymore.
It got me to thinking about other areas of my life. There are a lot of things I hang onto, or do because I feel like I am supposed to. I am supposed to be in all these essential oil and blogging Facebook groups because I am into essential oils and blogging. I HAVE to keep up on a zillion different social media platforms for my blog. I HAVE to stay friends with certain people on Facebook because they would feel bad if I wasn’t.
Wait a second … I don’t HAVE to do anything. And the litmus test I am using when I decide whether to keep or nix things is if they bring positivity or negativity into my life.
Obviously there are some negative things you can’t totally get rid of … like paying bills. But in homeless/not-homeless matters it makes total sense.
If someone or something is bringing negativity into your life there are a couple of things you should assess before giving them the heave-ho.
Do you have any obligation to this person/thing?
You can’t just quit your job the minute it starts becoming negative (although I would start looking for something else if the negativity is chronic) because you have obligations to pay bills. But you don’t have any obligation to random people on Facebook.
Is this an ongoing problem or the heat of the moment?
We all get annoyed with people and things sometimes. That is just human nature. But if someone is making a habit of bringing negativity into your life, you need to take a hard look at whether or not the relationship is worth keeping. I have distanced myself from several people over the past couple of years because of chronic issues in the friendship. That doesn’t mean I don’t love them (in some cases it does …) but if they can’t respect me enough to respect my boundaries, they gotta go.
A book that I think ever person on the planet needs to read is Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. This book gives amazing insight into what a healthy relationship really looks like, and how setting boundaries is good for everyone.
Is this replacing something positive in your life?
I have written before about my
massive slight social media addiction. There isn’t anything wrong with social media, as a matter of fact it’s the life-blood of blogs. But it has taken an unhealthy place in my life. I justified it because I said I was working, and promoting, and networking. It is becoming a negative in my life.
I had to make the decision that having a healthy balance in my life is more important than promoting my blog. So I might be a little quiet on Facebook, or even delete some of my social media accounts. I am totally at peace with that decision.
Is there something nagging and negative in your life? What’s stopping you from minimizing negativity?
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